The latest must-peruse book recommendation is about that most elusive of efforts - changing ADULT behavior. Triggers - Creating Behaviors that Last - Becoming the Person you Want to Be is an easy read (or listen on CD from the local library) that focuses on habit formation. It boils down to the expression we’ve all heard, “Energy flows where attention goes.”
The author encourages use of the daily questions as a way to concentrate your attention in the areas YOU feel are most important in your life. As he has been doing this for 20+ years, he has a formidable list of two dozen questions. Most of us don’t have the time to create that list, let alone check it daily. I settled on four.
The KEY is to ask yourself each day whether you are _doing_ your best at _________________ . “Trying” your best can be a less scary-sounding level of commitment, but we must be careful not to confuse ‘feeling’ with doing and being.
Each day we grade ourselves on each area. You might use a 1 - 5 scale. Over the course of 3-4 weeks, you _will_ see where your true priorities lie.
My four questions (and these are on a sticky on my side of the bathroom mirror, impossible to miss each morning) are:
Am I doing my best to (1) Be a good wife; (2) Eat, Drink and Move to promote my health; (3) Express gratitude and (4) Keep chaos at bay in the home? (The latter referring to physical chaos - laundry on the couch, dirty dishes in the sink, unmade bed, clutter.)
Your four questions will likely be different, but these are the four areas that make me happiest when they are in balance.
Expressing gratitude falls short for me, and writing this reminds and cements that that is an area I need to continue to draw focus and attention to. Referring to your focus points each day will set your intentions for that day. When learning new dance steps, our teacher Matt reminds us that the goal is “unconscious competence” or that magic time when you can do the move without thinking about it. So it is with any goal or habit we are trying to establish. For now I am still in the conscious incompetence stage on gratitude - I’m messing up, but at least I’m aware of it and am making that switch when I see it happen.
Number two may be an area of struggle for you. You might even need to break them down into three different questions if food, fluids, and movement are all separate areas of challenge.
I hope you will take a few moments to ponder, write down and post your questions to yourself. Email me at [email protected] about what YOU are focusing on. 
All the best,
Marcey
Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She also sometimes gets distracted from her (SQUIRREL!!!) focus points.
