Fitness Blog

It’s All in Your Head - Life waits for no one!

One of the more common emails I get when checking on someone who has fallen off the grid is some version of:

I fell off the deep end because the diet was getting way too difficult for me to manage with (insert personal situation here.) Is there a plan that is manageable and realistic for (insert my life role(s) here)?

This is always tricky, and I like to refer back to my hero Flylady. She is an online organizational guru who help people get control of their homes and lives through baby steps. She gets similar emails from “flybabies” who are nightshifters, students, stay-at-home Moms, “Payroll Moms” (those who also work outside the home) and any other variation on life you can imagine. All want to know if there isn’t a special plan for their specific situation.

Truly, no. The basic bones of her plan are:

keep your sink clean and empty (because without that you can’t prepare food easily, and you’ll be more likely to order out which is expensive AND causes “Body clutter.”)
lay out your clothes the night before (because that forces you to check your calendar and not get surprised by something - like a 6am class you forgot you signed up for!)
get dressed to shoes each day (because you have to feel like you’re ‘all business’ to get things done, even if your company is your household)
make your bed each day (because that sets the standard for order in your home) and
declutter 15 minutes a day (because for most of us, the reason our homes get out of control is we have too much crap 😉 )

You have to then decide how to apply those principles in your life.

So it is with the Meltdown.

With planning food, which is absolutely the biggest piece of the Meltdown picture (don’t tell Bill!) you get that old business axiom - fast, good and cheap, and you may choose TWO :). The only thing you have to decide is which two are more important to you.

If MONEY is a concern (and I’m guessing not many of us won that Powerball a few weeks ago!) it’s KEY that we plan ahead so we aren’t caught needing to grab a convenience food that is often more processed, less healthy and more expensive. Make friends with your crockpot. Make a grocery list - you probably buy the same 20-30 things over and over - why not have a printed list? Mine’s in a plastic sleeve that I can use a dry erase marker on. This avoids tons of extra little time-consuming trips into the grocery where we’ll also pick up extra things we don’t need, including junk food.

If TIME is a concern, we also need to plan ahead unless we have unlimited resources to hire a home chef or order in every night. We also need to realize we are just ONE person, with only 24 hours. Engaging other family members in the battle to keep laundry moving and whatever other daily tasks make your household run is key. Especially if you live alone, the “do it now” principle is your saving grace - I took an inventory of the stuff laying around my home not in its place, and guess what? A lot of it was mine. (More of the hair was Michael’s.) 😀

BULK COOKING is a lifesaver - many of my reportees will make a 3-4 day pile of salad fixings, multiple chicken breasts, boiled eggs, and whatever other staples they need to get through a week. It takes exactly as much time to bake 5 sweet potatoes as it does one.

Knowing that some things can take a little time or a lot of time depending on WHEN we do it - Krogering on the south side at 7am right after class? A dream. Krogucci on the east side at 530pm is a nightmare of screaming toddlers, complete absence of parking and endless checkout lines. Think outside the box of your normal routine. On a cold winter morning, you can even skate through the store BEFORE a morning class - stuff will keep fine in the trunk! Again, these are things that work for me; your mileage may vary - 9pm after the kids are asleep is kinda quiet, too!

Until cloning technology gets a little better…..

Pick the battles that are important.

Look for those wasted minutes we ALL have in each day. Consider that instead of saying, “I don’t have the time” that “I’m choosing to spend my time elsewhere.” Then take a critical look at where we _are_ spending that time. One experiment can be putting your phone out of reach for just a little while…

Do what you can do to plan ahead each day - I’m always two days ahead of fridge life since it takes a couple of days for something to thaw!

Let go of perfectionism. (One bad meal does NOT mandate a full cheat day!) Also know that there is NO magic time when the world will suddenly lay itself open with a perfect time for you to live healthfully. There is no do-over on this moment, this day, week or life. People are already signing up for the April bootcamp - that’s WONDERFUL, but my hope is always that no one thinks they have to wait another minute to start taking better care of themselves.

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She has given up scheduling routine times to wipe her baseboards but ALWAYS has boiled eggs at the ready.

It’s All in Your Head: Saying “No” Nicely, redux

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OK, so you’ve decided you don’t give a bleep what other people think of what your nutrition plan is, but you’re trying really hard not to come across as a ‘solid waste evacuation orifice’ to those who mean well, and even those who are just being kinda buttheads. What’s a person to do when people are insistent about voicing their opinions regarding what goes into your body? “No” is a hard word for some of us to utter. We’ve covered this in the past but it never hurts to have a big ol’ toolbox to pull out - when the socket set o’ sarcasm won’t do, maybe the Dremel tool of droll replies fits the bill, or you may need to consult the pegboard of politeness (seriously? I love alliteration and I will sit here all darned day at thesaurus.com if no one stops me….)

Consider:

If I could moderate I wouldn’t have gotten to x pounds.

I can resist everything except temptation (Oscar Wilde.)

I have a goal, and that takes me away from it rather than toward it.

It’s been really wonderful how many people have supported me in this effort. I hope I can count on you, too. (For when just the right amount of passive aggression is needed - the smile is KEY here.)

Just because I’m not eating it doesn’t mean you can’t. (Make sure you know YOUR cheating style and don’t use this as an excuse to go off-plan.) You have to MEAN this one.

I say “no” to (insert food here) so I can say “yes” to (insert your why/goal here.)

I believe my absolute favorite response came from one of our instructors and a woman of few, but thoughtful, words: “No, thank you.” Because no IS a complete sentence and you don’t really owe an explanation to anyone :). If pressed, one COULD accompany it with a patented Miss Manners Withering Glance (when Googling for images of “withering glance” this showed up, and if you can dye your hair red AND manage the eyelash trick, I HIGHLY recommend adding this for emphasis. Actually BEING Christina Hendricks won’t hurt.

(Wait - let’s try this again from the vantage point of you eating your lunch…)

(Did someone just learn how to insert a GIF? Maaaaaaybe…. but those were totally not gratuitous and COMPLETELY germane to the blog.)

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She worries more about binging on the pending season 7 of Mad Men on Netflix than binging on donuts. She also researched “bingeing” versus “binging” and got dissatisfyingly conflicting opinions….

It’s All in Your Head: Not giving a bleep

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Disclaimer: while no salty language will be used in this blog, should you choose to check out this week’s book suggestion, you WILL be exposed to lots of it!

Sometimes a book doesn’t necessarily speak to my life, but the title is eye-catching, OR I think it might be of interest to someone near and dear. The latter two apply to Sarah Knight’s slim tome The life-changing magic of not giving a (bleep); How to stop spending time with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.

(That rumble is the stampede of folks heading to Barnes and Noble interspersed with the frantic clicks of 2 day shipping? yes PLEASE! on Amazon.)

If there is one 100% preventable cause of people not being able to adhere to the Meltdown plan, it’s giving a (bleep) what other people think.

The author is quick to point out that not giving a bleep is NOT the same thing as being a (solid waste evacuation orifice.) Or a honey badger. What we’re aiming for is a state of enlightenment where you are crystal clear about what is important to you, versus things you think you’re _supposed_ to care about, or things you feel pressured to care about but you really just can’t muster the give-a-bleep for and have absolutely no impact on your life.

It’s perfectly fine and necessary and desirable to care about the feelings of others. I’m putting on my Kevlar undies here and IMPLORING people not to burn me in effigy for the following example. Someone may care quite deeply about Downton Abbey and be shocked and horrified that I have not seen even a single ep of it (do NOT write me about how awesome it is - this is high on my don’t-give-a-bleep list.) I still love you and will never say awful things about you OR Dame Maggie who is the BOMB, but it’s just not my thing. Herein lay the basic tenet of gently not giving a (bleep) - simple, emotionless opinion.

We have a tendency to infuse emotion into ALL sorts of situations. Little is MORE fraught with potential for that than food (of all the weird things) or anything to do with our weight or our bodies. These things are probably only second to child-rearing in terms of how much people who aren’t at all invested in a situation or living in your body have an INCREDIBLY strong opinion about what you should be doing.

It is KEY whether you’re dealing with food pushers (well-meaning or sabotaging) or that person we all know who wants to tell you how bad your new regimen is for you. This person usually appears not to have found the magic elixir for their own challenges in this arena, but is nonetheless happy to dog you even while you get fitter. Understanding that this is reflecting their own insecurities may make it easier to be more charitable in our responses when our hackles get up.

So what reply will you have at the ready that is the perfect mix of politeness with just a dash of non-hurtful honesty if politeness isn’t enough? Email me with suggestions and we’ll talk more about that NEXT week :).

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head: Burpees and the meaning of life

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Another year over! As I finished the end of my fifth year in the Meltdown, it occurs to me that the New Year isn’t that big a deal anymore.

What do most of us resolve to do when setting goals? Lose weight. Get healthier. Eat less crap. Check, check, check.

I’ve never been a big fan of discomfort. No pain, no pain. So the idea of sticking with something like working out for five years is kind of weird for me. (I admire those of you who have a lifetime of love of exercise behind you - I just don’t understand it :).)

Last January, for whatever bizarre reason (I blame it primarily on an early aversion to math) I decided to take Adam up on his progressive challenge. Do one thing on January 1. On January 2nd, do it twice, and so on. Who doesn’t love burpees? So there it was. I decided that in order to make it more likely to stick, I put a little social pressure on myself by adding a link to the spreadsheet in the signature line of my NGPT email address. (Of course there’s a spreadsheet!

Lessons learned from a boatload of burpees:

(1) They work. 10 pounds down and 12% body fat over the year. I feel strongly that it doesn’t HAVE to be burpees. ANY action applied consistently will get you results.

(2) For those of us who are more externally motivated, putting it out there WILL keep you on task. Long after the bloom of the new year was off the rose, having people wonder if it was still happening kept me going. If you’re more internally motivated, about the time you’re ready to say heck with it, the obvious changes in your body will keep you going.

(3) You are never so old that your Mom won’t worry about you (she was there on days 364 and 365.) I’m fine, Mom! 😉

(4) EVERYTHING is a mental game. Mental in that barring illness or injury, I truly believe anyone can do this or a similar challenge - you just have to commit. There are countless dishonored moments in every day that we fritter away. By the last day, the true amount of time actually doing burpees was still less that one-half hour, and spread out over the day, could be achieved in small increments. It’s also a game in that watching the countdown became a reward of its own.

(5) Don’t get behind, but if you do, just realize you’re still eating an elephant with a teaspoon, just a larger elephant. Most number of burpees done in one day just over 1000. Did I mention it’s a good idea not to get behind?

(6) There is NO finish line. Have a plan in place for “what’s next” no matter your current goals. There is great danger in celebrating with the victory dance too long - completing a goal can actually halt your progress.

(7) No wiggle language. Don’t say you will TRY and do something. Say you will do it, and watch that escape hatch close.

So how will you challenge yourself to do better, be more, or achieve the wacky?

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She believes everyone needs just enough crazy to think 67,000 reps of something is totally doable.

It’s All in Your Head: Planners versus Doers

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Part two of the high points from Triggers as referenced in the last blog :). I’ve struggled with the idea of planners versus doers. I LOVE to plan. There is NOTHING cooler to me than a fresh pretty calendar, everything for the week laid out - UNLESS it’s a recently re-prioritized to-do list, ready to accept big black sharpies across it as I tear through it in a torrent of efficiency.

However, sometimes when it comes to actually _doing_ the things we plan for, we’re all theory and no practice.

This can be a psychological trap - it’s well known that we give ourselves mental credit for doing something even if we don’t actually do it just because we _said_ we were going to do it - I waded through the entire Wikipedia list of cognitive biases and couldn’t find it, so if YOU remember what it’s called, email me :).

We can also hate to mess up the pristine awesomeness of our carefully-laid-plan when something goes awry. I long ago gave up writing stuff in pen - WHY do that to yourself when you know stuff changes? The whole plan can seem to crumble if we hold ourselves to executing it perfectly.

But the bottom line is that while the title of this blog is “It’s all in your head,” sometimes you just gotta get out of your head.

DECIDE.

DO.

We can spend a whole lot of time trying to figure out how we got here, and I do think there’s value in that, but it doesn’t change how we get THERE. And that’s making those hard small decisions each day that add up to your results. Knowing that we eat crap because we’re responding to stress or we’re bored or we didn’t pack our lunch the night before doesn’t help if we keep repeating the pattern. Your life is only Groundhog Day if you choose to keep making the same decisions each day. If you’re hanging onto your past, you have to get over being called Bertha Big Butt as a kid (true story) or you’re doomed to spend your life waiting for a do-over on a childhood that is in the rear view (no pun intended 😀 .)

How will YOU take action TODAY?

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She loves Larry Wilmore and encourages us ALL to “keep it 100” with ourselves.

It’s All in Your Head: The daily questions

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The latest must-peruse book recommendation is about that most elusive of efforts - changing ADULT behavior. Triggers - Creating Behaviors that Last - Becoming the Person you Want to Be is an easy read (or listen on CD from the local library) that focuses on habit formation. It boils down to the expression we’ve all heard, “Energy flows where attention goes.”

The author encourages use of the daily questions as a way to concentrate your attention in the areas YOU feel are most important in your life. As he has been doing this for 20+ years, he has a formidable list of two dozen questions. Most of us don’t have the time to create that list, let alone check it daily. I settled on four.

The KEY is to ask yourself each day whether you are _doing_ your best at _________________ . “Trying” your best can be a less scary-sounding level of commitment, but we must be careful not to confuse ‘feeling’ with doing and being.

Each day we grade ourselves on each area. You might use a 1 - 5 scale. Over the course of 3-4 weeks, you _will_ see where your true priorities lie.

My four questions (and these are on a sticky on my side of the bathroom mirror, impossible to miss each morning) are:

Am I doing my best to (1) Be a good wife; (2) Eat, Drink and Move to promote my health; (3) Express gratitude and (4) Keep chaos at bay in the home? (The latter referring to physical chaos - laundry on the couch, dirty dishes in the sink, unmade bed, clutter.)

Your four questions will likely be different, but these are the four areas that make me happiest when they are in balance.

Expressing gratitude falls short for me, and writing this reminds and cements that that is an area I need to continue to draw focus and attention to. Referring to your focus points each day will set your intentions for that day. When learning new dance steps, our teacher Matt reminds us that the goal is “unconscious competence” or that magic time when you can do the move without thinking about it. So it is with any goal or habit we are trying to establish. For now I am still in the conscious incompetence stage on gratitude - I’m messing up, but at least I’m aware of it and am making that switch when I see it happen.

Number two may be an area of struggle for you. You might even need to break them down into three different questions if food, fluids, and movement are all separate areas of challenge.

I hope you will take a few moments to ponder, write down and post your questions to yourself. Email me at [email protected] about what YOU are focusing on.

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head: The 10,000 hour rule

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I dig Malcolm Gladwell, and not just because we appear to have the same post-workout hair stylist. Mr. Gladwell popularized the idea that 10,000 hours of practice can equal expertise in a given endeavor.

It occurred to me that learning and living the Meltdown lifestyle - a different way of eating than most of us have been practicing before we walk in the doors of NGPT, is no less a skill to be honed through repetition.

Since we’re really talking about fighting each day the orthodoxy of food (bad for you) and movement (none or far too little) that is a way of life for many Americans, consider that 10,000 hours, if divided into awake days of 16 hours = 625 days, or about 89 weeks, or 1.7 years before we might consider that “expertise” has been achieved. (SOMEBODY out there is checking my math even as you read this!) 😉

Unreasonable? Not really given the average client is well into her 30’s when she walks in the door (I ventured in at 39, and not coincidentally as that sometimes-culturally scary number loomed.) 39 years - or even 21 if we’re counting just the adult ones - of ingrained habits surrounding one of the most basic functions of our survival. Color us not surprised that relapse is a common part of finding our way to long-term success,

This is all on my mind as we ready to graduate our 27th Meltdown bootcamp, and are on day 3 of our 28th.

As we ready to send our barely-minted veterans out into the world with a scant 896 hours under their belts, like a worried Mother Hen, I fret - will they be ok? Will they remember what we taught them? This is not meant to be disconcerting - rather an encouragement that if we stumble, that’s okay, and it’s only important that we get right back up.

Please know that we continue to be here for you after that magic 56th day - no one expects perfection, but we’ve come too far to quit now :).

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She knows first-hand that persistent and focused effort can often make up for an egregious lack of natural talent.

It’s All in Your Head: Joy - the Anti-Cheat

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You know how some weeks you seem to be living under a black cloud? There is no joy in Mudville. A button falls off your shirt when you’re already running late. You lock your keys in the car. There goes the coffee all over your desk.

It’s not been that kind of week. Insurance companies have parted like the Red Sea to allow my patients their recommended testing. Michael and I had an outstanding dance night. Someone sent a really nice email. I got to send some really nice emails :).

And you know what I don’t think about at all during these kinds of weeks?

Food.

I eat to keep fueling the body, but it’s almost hard to remember to do that. Even the world-famous homemade cinnamon rolls in the office break area aren’t enticing. “Flow” takes over and we aren’t trying to escape from life with a few seconds of pleasure that turn into regret.

I know life can’t be all sunshine and roses, so let’s consider now our go-to happy place for when life is treating you like a baby treats a diaper. Confession? I loves me some Glee videos on youtube. Don’t judge. If you can’t find yours, let’s talk :).

When we can see the joy in little parts of life, there’s less of a desire to look for that artificial high or pick-me-up from sugar. Whether that sugar is in the form of candy or alcohol, it’s all just a super-short jolt of faux joy.

A cooling-off period may be just the thing to regain self-control in a challenging situation so we don’t resort to unhelpful food-based coping mechanisms. MOST of us return to the scene of the cheat crime over and over - throwing a block in the execution of that cue-routine-reward pattern can start us on the road to NEW habits.

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She agrees with Abe Lincoln: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

It’s All in Your Head: Your Cheating Heart

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Cheating is VERY personal.

No - not that kind - the kind where we go off the food plan!

Let’s address the term first - “cheating” sounds kinda harsh. You’re not trolling Ashley Madison; you’re eating a donut. Or a piece of pizza. Or whatever you’re not ‘supposed’ to be :). You’ve wandered off-plan. I’m using ‘cheating’ for brevity :).

There are a number of different KINDS of cheating and cheaters.

The “Optimist Cheater” - this is the person who each day arises with a new reserve of willpower, determined to eat the bare minimum the food plan requires, like they’re cramming for an exam (because a weigh-in is often around the corner.) And by 5pm or whenever that last straw of stress falls on your back, and the kids are fighting in the back of the minivan and you’ve calculated that you can just barely beat the Papa John’s driver home if you call the order in NOW, you’re done. Lather, rinse, repeat. Sadly, this is the most destructive kind of cheating, because having been in a state of famine much of the day, AND nearing bedtime, the body very efficiently processes and stores the extra calories, not knowing when it may be fed again.

The “Hostess Cheater” can’t stand the idea of making those around them uncomfortable by not eating everything they are. Never mind that no one will notice you skipped the mashed potatoes. It’s the office birthday party sheet cake and no one will care if you don’t have a piece (except the person who was raised not to “waste food” and will take it home.) If you’re THAT person, it may be helpful to consider that cake isn’t really food - it’s closer to a delivery device for the drug “sugar.”

The “Tag Team” cheater - these are the people who are supposed to serve as accountabilibuddies, keeping each other on track. Maybe they’re office mates or a couple, but when one folds, he or she takes the other one down, too. Guilt shared is not actually guilt halved. Sometimes you can’t save both of you, but you’re not obliged to go down with the ship.

The “Oops Cheater” - how did THAT get in my mouth? It just happened! Better to acknowledge the choice that we make in putting in there - not as an exercise in penance, but in asserting our control. This is a close cousin to the “Unplanned Cheat Cheater” - this person believes they fell into a cheat, but it was more likely a failure to plan NOT to cheat.

The “Secret Cheater” - this person is the most concerning to me - disordered eating is a diagnosis beyond my scope of practice to make, but if you cheat in secret, or binge eat, that’s a potentially serious problem that you may want to consider discussing. I recommend logging specifics of cheat meals for all clients; facing our food is a big first step to shaking its hold over us.

Look for patterns in your forays off-plan. Guilt is a massively useless emotion - it happens after the transgression and rarely affects the decision to commit the next one. How can we set ourselves up for success each and every day?

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She believes that we control far more of our lives and choices than we usually like to admit :).

It’s All in Your Head: Why the Inferno is for EVERYONE

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I am putting early-high-school-me out there, much though it may pain me, to make a case for why YOU should sign up for the Inferno (event: Saturday September 12th; deadline 8/30 - register HERE.)

So the featured image is me around 1986, a decade or so before discovering hair product, rocking the brown plastic frame glasses that were the law for all girls of a certain age, and not suspecting at ALL that life would lead me toward fitness as a part-time vocation and full-time obsession. I avoided gym like Ebola and was fairly certain sweat wouldn’t kill me, but not enough to take the chance…

Then January 2011 boot camp changed my world, the tale of which which I will happily bore you with on request. Circa 2012(?) we had our first Inferno, then an individual competition. By then a coach and feeling obliged to represent, I donned war paint

and in my mind set out for battle, not with other clients, but against the knobby-kneed, clumsy, bespectacled me of 25 years prior, still taking up valuable real estate in my psyche. I wanted to throw up. What was I doing there?

And then when we started, it was absolutely NOTHING like what I (or anyone) expected. First, not having ever been a sports fan, it was difficult to understand getting excited about anything physical. But there we all were, getting hoarse cheering up someone grinding through the last of 75 push-ups. And kettlebell swings. And deadlifts when deadlifts were kind of a novelty around NGPT (who among us wouldn’t love for 50% of our body weight to be the DL benchmark now?) Also, I won the ladies “master’s division” (OLD?? Not this chick!) Nerds rejoice!

It has since evolved into an even more fun team event, and over time my nerves are less because I came to realize that, despite whatever teenaged trauma you’re carrying around, we’re Average Joes - the gym where everyone fits in and is supported. There is no Globo Gym, and they couldn’t hold a candle to NGPT if there was. We’re ALL on the same team.

Commit to signing up and trying YOUR best, or just come out and cheer, but know that sometimes the most valuable exercise is when you make your MIND do something it doesn’t want to do.

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program! She believes 100% that we can change our bodies AND our minds and lives in the process.

Fitness Blog

It’s All in Your Head - Life waits for no one!

It’s All in Your Head: Saying “No” Nicely, redux

It’s All in Your Head: Not giving a bleep

It’s All in Your Head: Burpees and the meaning of life

It’s All in Your Head: Planners versus Doers

It’s All in Your Head: The daily questions

It’s All in Your Head: The 10,000 hour rule

It’s All in Your Head: Joy - the Anti-Cheat

It’s All in Your Head: Your Cheating Heart

It’s All in Your Head: Why the Inferno is for EVERYONE

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